Ideals Never Matches Reality
by WhatifStoryTeller
Summary: **UPDATED** He is done with her acts of ungraceful. Somehow this leads to a conversation where Sanji expressions more than adoration and lust after females, and maybe even a closer connection with his idiotically captain? Fem!LuffyxSanji Oneshot OOC/Based on someone else's headcannon


**11/8/15: Revised**

The white mush formed a mount in the pool of brown liquid. The sliver spoon plunged into the mash potatoes and took a hunk away. Liquid dripped from her spoon onto her lap, and soon her mouth. As she liked it clean, the gravy seeped through her thin lips, traveling down her chin and onto her red vest. She glanced down and moaned in annoyance of the lost gravy. Her faced slowly changed as she gained an idea, swiping the missed gravy from her stained shirt with her finger and right into her mouth.

Some of the crew members couldn't help but wonder how long she has been wearing that shirt. And now that her finger was wet, she ditched the soon and used her fingers. Not caring about the scornful looks that she was getting from across the room.

The other crew members paid her no mind, becoming use to her antics, and continued eating. The only person who did mind stood across the room with his hands folded across his chest as he stared at the girl with a disgruntled look. He turned his head away before he made himself more annoyed.

At the same moment, she shot her hands in the air and demanded, "Seconds!"

How was this rubber-thing the same gender as his beloved Nami-swan?

The two acted completely different; the one that he still believed to be a very detailed crossdresser while the other was of utmost perfection. Nami would sit upright at the table and compliment him; oh, how much he swooned over him. They had a similar figure, though Luka's hip was more distinct than Nami's, and Nami's breast size was much bigger. They both displayed it in a different light, one would shot off her womanly features, while Luka didn't care.

"Oi, Earth to Sanji!" The girl, who was clouding his nightmares, was now waving her empty plate before his eyes. Really, no manners are all.

Sanji was displeased. "Whatever," he grabbed her plate before his blood pressure pulsed, and retreated back to the corner where the pans were stored.

There was a lofty moan behind him. "Done," Zoro muttered, pushing himself from the chair and leaving his plate on the table.

He was lucky that he wasn't on cleaning duty today, or Sanji would have made sure Marimo would never leave the table a mess again.

Shit, that reminded him, it was Luka's turn. Which was the same as asking a child clean up her toys. Though Luka could take clear of the food, the actually cleaning rested on his shoulders. And Sanji couldn't allow her to get off scot free either, as that would be unfair to Zoro and Usopp.

The other two quickly left as well, leaving Sanji alone with his captain, who was now on her fifth plate. He started clearing the table of the forgotten plates and silverware.

Luka continued eating, watching him in the corner of her eyes.

Maybe it was better if he just did it himself, he wondered. That way he could go to bed without a headache. "Luka, when you're done, just go. I got things in here."

"Eh?"

"What?" He could already feel the pulse in his forehead.

"What do you mean? I was going anyways...?"

Bastard forgotten about her kitchen duties. Figures. "It's not important anymore, just go and bug someone else. Like Marimo."

She licked the rest of her plate clean and stacked it on top of the pile. She went to turn around, towards the door, yet she paused, thinking about what he was referring to. "Oh, yeah, I was suppose to help clean!"

"No need to."

The black haired ignored him and headed to the broom closest; which was under several pots and pans that has been stored there since their last island adventure. Her hand reached inside and pulled it out, as well as everything else that was in here. Maybe the D in her name was meant for Disaster, because she was a prime example of it.

Sanji rolled his eyes and tried to start picking up his freshly brought supplies, when Luka held out her hand, "I got it." He went back to the counter and cleaned the rest of the dishes; a mind-numbing task but it kept him from worrying over what Luka was doing to his poor kitchen.

This was a mistake on his part.

A frying pan was sent towards him, a clunk and then a thump.

His body sprawled out onto the ground with the girl racing to his side. She bit her bottom lip and glanced aroudn as if thinking someone would've heard and tried helping. No one did.

Instead of going out for help, she leaned down and lifted the blond's body. She was certain that resting on the ground was a no, so she headed down the hatch and laid him on the couch. It was a small room that people entered before the bedrooms. By now, the others should be in bed.

Luka pulled up a chair from the corner and seated herself, staring at Sanji's moving chest until her eyes closed. It didn't feel like long until there was a loud yelp and someone dropping to the floor; which woke her up. "Huh?!" Her head jolted up, drool dripped down her chin, and she glanced at the source of the sound.

He was finally awake and did not look happy in the slightlish. His eyes burned into hers, ranging from emotions of hatred, annoyance, and impatience. "HOW CAN A SHITTY BASTARD LIKE YOU BE A WOM-" He paused in middle of his sentence as he realized where he was.

Nami was on the other side of that wall.

He didn't want to disturb her.

Biting his lip, he pointed to the hatch once more, making sure that the girl knew she was to follow. He pulled himself through and groaned at the sight of his beloved kitchen. His angry was already at its fullest, so he kept silent for the moment until he gotten onto the deck.

She followed at a much slower pace; fully realizing that she has done something to cause this.

"So," he held his finger up, "I'm about to say some words that will be hurtful and honest, but at the moment I don't give a flying shit." Where the fuck were his cigarettes?

She stood straight and nodded.. Seeing her like that was unnatural, but Sanji pushed the thought away. He knew that she would soon daze out, like when Nami gave lectures, or Zoro would curse her out, but his anger needed to be release before it became venom.

"Of the seventeen years of my life, I have never meet a girl like you, because there is no way in hell you are one. You have no feminine aspect in your whole personality. Now, when I joined the crew, I was charmed by appearances and first impression, which was somewhat of a mistake. Now that I know how you act, I somewhat regret the decision. Those precious moments on the Baratie with you are some that I will never get back. I actually thought of you as a lady, one that was stubborn but childish. I cannot stress it enough that you have ruined my beliefs. How can someone as tactless as you be a girl? You're messy, informal, clumsy, immature, and too much of a blockhead to realize."

"You don't like me?"

All of his rage summarized in one line. "Yes. If you were a guy, I wouldn't give you the light of day." For a moment, she only stared at him before smiling and laughing, which caused him to raise his eyebrow. "Why are you laughing?"

"You're not the first to say that, but it wasn't a lie either." She looked out into the stars. The moon was hidden behind a cloud, but the other stars were shining brightly as if making up for that fact.

He followed her line of sight, not quite following her.

"I'm just me. Nothing more, nothing less."

"So you won't change?"

She shook her head.

There was a long pause before anything else was said. She cleared her throat, glancing at him from the corner of her eyes, "Would it be better if you imaged me as a guy?"

He shook his head, feeling regretful for even being this up. "Even changing your appearance wouldn't help. You will still look like a girl no matter what..."

She nodded, "Just like how you look like a guy."

"I guess.. I just got to figure you out."

"Figure me out?"

"Because you're just you."

And at this, she grinned. "And that's the way it should be. So, do you still dislike me?"

"You're annoying."

"And?

"Immature."

"And?"

"But you're still my captain, as I am your chef. Since the day I swore myself to you, and I couldn't have it no other way."

Luka grinned at this, "And I may not be the best captain, or girl, but I'm thankful to have you on my crew."

In a jokingly manner, he swung his arm around her shoulders, "Now, if only there was a way to turn you into a guy..."

She sucked in her lips and busted out in laughter.

 **This was a headcannon that I read a while ago about Sanji holding women in high regards because of the stories/values he was taught working in an all-men ship. Because of this, he saw all women outside of his reach, so now that he's near Nami and Robin, he views them as goddesses and will do anything to please them. But, I was thinking, what about a woman that wasn't inside of this mindset? Someone not goddess-like? And, being me, I placed Fem!Luffy in the story and BOOM!**

 **Now, this story isn't in relations to the true Sanji, who values all women the same and will not act differently if the girl in question was different. The only time that he done that was when the woman was either obsessive/pushily or a cougar.**

 **This story was updated with a new ending in mind. Now that I'm really thinking about this, it sounds preachy, but it is a better version than the first one. The first one was a cop-out, and this one was preachy. So, yeah, this was made for experimental and serves no other purpose.**


End file.
